Do you have what it takes to write for Trip? This guy sure does...

What fun it would be to write a piece for TRP, my favourite ever site!

I am a freakozoid, have an oddly shaped skull, and love to stir and push people to the limits of their beliefs until they either almost cry or hit me. It's a dangerous pastime admittedly, but consider it something I was born to do.

Since my last big bust in McDonalds carpark with 300 superman trips and an oz of boo, I've had to settle in with the fact that perhaps my days of dealing illegal brain busters are long gone. To this day I wonder if perhaps Ronald himself had his finger in my downfall, and am certain that if I'd been wearing stripey knee-length socks then I might have been overlooked.

Point being, er, well, I guess there really was no point. But it was fun to introduce myself in such a fashion! Hang on, I remember now... salvia divinorum.

Yes, it is my latest and favourite entheogen. Still legal, and should remain that way at least until next week. There have of course been lots of write-ups on the stuff, amazing stories of Doctor-Who-like time tunnels and body exchange business, but so far I haven't heard of anyone stupid enough to combine it with datura, powdered mdma, lsd, pot, two beers, and as much shamans mull mix as the lungs can handle.

Of course, I am talking about myself again, ego being one of those small misnomers that comes along with standardized megalomanic delusional schizophrenic uni-polar syndromes. Fortunately it turns out that my polarity only points towards the feeling good end of the spectrum, because the night in mention could have easily turned out to be a little wierd otherwise.

If you are waiting to hear an amazing story of wierd and cryptic metaphorised hallucinations ending in a daring leap off a bridge that lands me in hospital with ruptured testicles, then forget about it. Absolutely nothing happened at all!.

I took enough substances to shatter Ronald McD's entire funky universe three times over, got bored and went out on the town. Myself and friend went and listened to a band, had a chat about if it was logically possible that souls exist, then went home.

Needless to say the occurence made me decide to completely give up using drugs completely. There wasn't even so much as a mood change.

The whole experience made me realise that looking at life from alternative views of consciousness does nothing more than make a person aware of their own mental faults, that in a healthy brain do not exist. Having looked at myself from vantage points that most people wouldn't even bother attempting, I eventually managed to completely comprehend my perceptions to such a degree that it no longer makes any difference how much I consume. All it does to me now is make me feel worse than I did before and have to wait until my kidneys do their job so I can get on with life.

Fair enough for you to assume that my sense of reality has just been reduced to simplistic terms, but don't dare jump to such conclusions! Reality is amazingly complex and incredible, its just that I managed to figure out how my brain actually works from the centre of consciousness. Nothing special about that.

You might also think that I am about to say that people should stay away from drugs. Contrarywise, I would strongly recommed that most people 'get on it' as much as possible so they can arrive at a more pure understanding of themselves and how they fit in with the universe around them. Without drugs it could take a person decades to discover the insights that a good trip can induce.

The moral to this little story?

"When there's no more doors left to open, then perhaps it's time to step outside the house."