A Message From Souls, Inc.|
Save your soul?
Subj: We Care
Date: 97-4-12 18:06:36 EST
From: firstname.lastname@example.org (International Souls, Inc.)
To: email@example.com (Lost Souls of the World)
Have you been feeling depressed, lonely, like you haven't got a
friend in the world? Well, now you've got one! We're International
Souls, Inc. -- The Company That Cares About YOU. Unlike most quai-religious organizations, International Souls, Inc. does not represent
the interests of God, Satan, or any other soul-hungry supernatural
entity. Rather, ISI is a non-partial eternal-soul holding and investment
corporation. We are not interested in buying your soul outright, we
only wish to maintain and invest your soul for the short term, providing
you a steady, solid return which performs up to or above current soul
market values. When you invest with International Souls, Inc., you're
investing in your eternal future!
Feeling lost? Bereft? Think you got nothing to lose? Well you do! Your
soul is your eternal light vehicle, and without proper care it can get
tarnished all to heck! Some people don't ever think about their soul.
They ride roughshod over it for years and years, never paying it any
mind. All the while their soul is becoming weak and worn, ugly, useless...
That's no way to prepare for eternity!
At International Souls, Inc., we CARE about your soul. It's our job to
make sure that your soul remains squeaky clean and billowy with white light
so it's primed and ready for your inevitable departure into the afterlife.
While invested with International Souls Inc., your soul is safe against
temptation; voodoo; curses; blessings; hexes; karma; samsara; the evil eye;
and even unsightly soul-rot. And since International Souls, Inc. assumes all
options, liens, and negotiating rights to your eternal-soul while you're
invested, no supernatural entity may make hostile actions against or take
possession of your soul without the express written permission of our licensed
Plus, in the likelihood that your eternal-soul becomes a tragic pawn in the
timeless battle between good and evil, you can always call on a representative
of International Souls, Inc. to act as an impartial third-party litigator to
fight for YOUR rights. Our staff is trained in all fields of theological soul-
bartering tactics, and we know at any given moment exactly how much your
eternal soul is worth. Don't be undersold! At ISI, we know that even the
darkest cloud has a silver lining.
Call today for your free soul-investment package, or e-mail us to
receive our electronic soul-appraisal survey. Trust the experts! Invest with
International Souls, Inc.! We're the company that cares about YOU!
Tags : psychedelic
Rating : Teen - Drugs
Posted on: 2002-03-25 00:00:00