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A Message From Souls, Inc.

Save your soul?

Subj: We Care
Date: 97-4-12 18:06:36 EST
From: (International Souls, Inc.)
To: (Lost Souls of the World)

Hi friend,

Have you been feeling depressed, lonely, like you haven't got a friend in the world? Well, now you've got one! We're International Souls, Inc. -- The Company That Cares About YOU. Unlike most quai-religious organizations, International Souls, Inc. does not represent the interests of God, Satan, or any other soul-hungry supernatural entity. Rather, ISI is a non-partial eternal-soul holding and investment corporation. We are not interested in buying your soul outright, we only wish to maintain and invest your soul for the short term, providing you a steady, solid return which performs up to or above current soul market values. When you invest with International Souls, Inc., you're investing in your eternal future!

Feeling lost? Bereft? Think you got nothing to lose? Well you do! Your soul is your eternal light vehicle, and without proper care it can get tarnished all to heck! Some people don't ever think about their soul. They ride roughshod over it for years and years, never paying it any mind. All the while their soul is becoming weak and worn, ugly, useless... That's no way to prepare for eternity!

At International Souls, Inc., we CARE about your soul. It's our job to make sure that your soul remains squeaky clean and billowy with white light so it's primed and ready for your inevitable departure into the afterlife. While invested with International Souls Inc., your soul is safe against temptation; voodoo; curses; blessings; hexes; karma; samsara; the evil eye; and even unsightly soul-rot. And since International Souls, Inc. assumes all options, liens, and negotiating rights to your eternal-soul while you're invested, no supernatural entity may make hostile actions against or take possession of your soul without the express written permission of our licensed eternal-soul brokers!

Plus, in the likelihood that your eternal-soul becomes a tragic pawn in the timeless battle between good and evil, you can always call on a representative of International Souls, Inc. to act as an impartial third-party litigator to fight for YOUR rights. Our staff is trained in all fields of theological soul- bartering tactics, and we know at any given moment exactly how much your eternal soul is worth. Don't be undersold! At ISI, we know that even the darkest cloud has a silver lining.

Call today for your free soul-investment package, or e-mail us to receive our electronic soul-appraisal survey. Trust the experts! Invest with International Souls, Inc.! We're the company that cares about YOU!

Tags : psychedelic
Rating : Teen - Drugs
Posted on: 2002-03-25 00:00:00